I am not a blogger, my creativity lies more with my hands and eyes than actually writing down really coherent streams of thought. But I think this is more for me than for anyone else.
The last 7 years have been nuts, in good and hard ways. In 2006 I was pregnant with my 4th child BEN, and I can honestly say that I was thinking (naively) “I got this.” 
I am 5th of 12 children and I loved growing up in a large family, so 3 little kids was busy but not crazy, it was all I had ever wanted to do. I graduated from college but not because I was really career minded, I wanted an education but mostly I just wanted to be a mom. The End.
This was our family Christmas card photo from 2005. When I look at this picture I strangely feel like I am looking at another person, I sometimes see the woman (me) in the photo and think, “oh you had no idea.”
Now I am not talking like this because I think my life is terrible. In fact it’s kind of the opposite because I think that BB (before Ben) I had a good life, but the reality is the law of opposites is true- you can never know the good if you never know the bad/scary/difficult/heartbreaking. When I was 20 and my 16 year old brother died, it made me realize that loosing him brought me an appreciation for my family that had not been possible before. I wish it didn’t work that way but I believe the hard things in life are what help us become the kind of people we actually want to become, even though given the choice we would probably choose ourselves out of most of our “blessings!”
This is just a cake blog, but it turns out it may also be my personal outlet since the reason I am a crazy cake maker is because of the direction my life went.
a little faith and a lot of frosting