Happy Birthday Ben!

Ben you are the best. I cant talk about you without melting just a little bit. You are one of the most loving people I know, it’s unconditional and immediate. One of my favorite things in the world is how you randomly say “I love you mom” through out the day because I love you SO much too. Thanks for being such a fan of our family- I love how you tell people (yes random strangers) all the names of everyone in your “fa-muh-yee” even when they are not quite sure what you’re talking about.

Riding the bus with Tula.

This past year as you’ve taken off in 1st grade you have become so much more independent. You don’t cry every time I leave the house, and you sing little snippets from Daniel Tiger when you want to remind yourself everything’s ok. (“Grown ups come back”) You are so PROUD of all the things you are learning. We still jump up and down about going potty (even when Ty comes in and just flushes the toilet because “enough attention already!”) You get your clothes on and say “how do I look?” with a huge happy face because you know you look fabulous.

2 Thumbs up after going potty!

I see you wanting to be like all the other kids- wanting to be part of everything that’s going on. Your desire to “do” is so strong, you amaze me. Ms Sherman has to make you slow down and breathe during P.E. because you want to give it MORE than your all. Since you think you’re already a soccer player Dad is trying to get a special Ed team going this year. You are starting to read (!!!!!) and that is so exciting. We love seeing new possibilities open up for you! (Hello Cub Scout!)

You’re still so little, when you tell people you are 8 they always look to me for confirmation :). You don’t even mind that Ty is bigger, you LOVE asking him to help you… “I need my brudder!”

I love holding your little hands- hugging your sweet little monkey body, watching you point with your fingers that don’t quite straighten out. Even when my heart is aching because of the things that are hard for you or don’t work quite right, I still feel like I am bursting with love for the sweet, perfect goodness you are. As someone pointed out, I am sure my life would be “EASIER” if I didn’t have handicap children, but I meant it completely when I responded “it might be easier, but it wouldn’t necessarily be BETTER.”

I still cant always understand what you are saying, and my hearts strings twang a little as you try and push your lips with your fingers so the words come out better. But you are a fabulous Mime and we are always so excited when the communication barrier is broken! I love how you say “I dont know where IS he” and how you tell everyone “I have a dog.” You also are quite the D.J. and some of your best performances are “Let it go,” “Fine by me,” “Carl Papa,” “Tomorrow”….. the list goes on.

Every night you ask “What we going do tomorrow?” because you are just HOPING we have a friend coming over.

Playdate Selfie

You are starting to be a little bossy and I see you getting frustrated because everyone doesn’t cater to you like Mom (what??), but you are always so quick to apologize as soon as I give you a look- you don’t want any bad feelings, even someone saying “go away” breaks your heart. You notice immediately if I am emotional and love being the comforter- you love telling me to “cry” just so you can make it better with hugs and kisses.

You and Ty are best friends. When you both were put under anesthesia a few months ago the first thing you each asked for when you were waking up was each other. Tonight when Scott and Jack wouldn’t let you be in their movie you decided the two of you would make your own and you did. I am so grateful you have each other, Ty is your biggest fan and support even when you are acting like worst enemies.

Ben you have brought me to my knees literally and figuratively. Because of you I am more vulnerable, more anxious, more humble, more dependent on my Heavenly Father, more grateful, more empathetic, more loved- you are part of my heart. Your little spirit is so pure and giving and HAPPY that I have to remind myself not to be sad for you. You affect the people who know you in a sweet and real way, most of all me. I feel so lucky that I get to be your mom.

Thanks for being our boy Ben!

xoxoxo Mom